Facebook Irritation: A Continuum

Humor is the greatest thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~Mark Twain

I have a lot of pet peeves (don’t we all) that span various facets of my life and Facebook is no exception. For the most part, I love Facebook. It allows me to stay connected with colleagues. It provides entertainment, ideas, and even inspiration. It has given me the delightful opportunity to reconnect with friends from as far back as elementary school. For all these reasons, I appreciate Facebook and tolerate the endless irritation it also inflicts.

Facebook irritation comes in varying degrees of severity ranging from mild annoyance (Category One) to substantial aggravation (Category Two), with the vast majority falling at the mild annoyance end of the scale. These are the things that elicit nothing more than an eye roll or a head shake. They happen so often that several recurring examples have emerged during my time with the social networking giant. (Before I go any further, yes, I am aware that I probably annoy plenty of people myself. In fact, I may annoy some with this very post. I apologize in advance.)

Just Sayin’

A perfect example of the mild annoyance brand of Facebook irritation is the epidemic overuse, and nonsensical use, of the phrase “just sayin’.” As best as I can ascertain, when employed appropriately, the phrase means the speaker is good naturedly pointing out or calling attention to something the listener might disagree with or be sensitive about. For example:

Person one: I’m tired of doing all the work on this project.

Person two: You don’t do all the work. I did that one thing that one time.

Person one: (glaring)

Person two: I’m just sayin’.

Or . . .

Person one: Do you think I look fat?

Person two: Well, you did eat all that pizza last night.

Person one: (looking crestfallen)

Person two: Just sayin’.

As if “just sayin’” isn’t overused enough in its appropriate context, why do so many people these days find it necessary to insert the phrase at the end of anything and everything they say? It’s stating the obvious at best (if you’ve said it, of course you’re saying it) and completely pointless.

The grocery store was packed tonight. Just sayin’

I hate Mondays. Just sayin’

Baby, I love you so much. Just sayin’

Honey Bunny

It is annoying (and sometimes gag-inducing) when people share the graphic details of their out-of-a-bad-teen-movie romance with the Facebook world.

I wuv you, honey.

Oh baby-waby, I wuv you too.

I can’t WAIT to see you tonight.

Oh really?

Really.

What are you gonna do?

Oh, don’t you worry, you’ll like it . . .”

STOP! Please stop it right now! Don’t you people have private emails? Phones? Public Facebook walls are not for “sexting” or writing your very own Harlequin romance novel. You think it’s adorable when your significant other calls you honey bunny and hilarious that you call his penis Burt. No one else finds it remotely cute or amusing. I promise you.

Today I did upper body at the gym

Why do people feel compelled to share the most detailed minutia of their day-to-day existence in the blandest way possible? This is serious Category One irritation.

I went to the gym.

Uh, okay, thanks for sharing, but that isn’t terribly interesting. In fact, it isn’t interesting at all. It isn’t that you can’t share a status about having gone to the gym but try to spice it up a little. Tell us about how you were on the treadmill next to a guy who was singing along to Britney Spears on his iPod at the top of his lungs. Regale us with a story about how the new yoga teacher’s left boob kept popping out of her tank top with every downward facing dog. Tell us something remotely interesting. Please. For the sake of all your friends who end up reading about it on their news feeds. Friends don’t subject friends to brutally boring statuses.

Re-post unless you hate your own children and want baby animals to be tortured

You’ve seen these statuses. They exist for depression, autism, cancer and every other imaginable disease and disorder:

Cancer is terrible. It claims the lives of (insert statistic here) people each year. More research is needed to find a cure. If you know someone who is fighting or fought a battle with cancer, post this as your status for one hour as a symbol of respect and remembrance. Only some of you will do this, and I know who you are. I hope I’m right about the people who will honor this request.

Cancer sucks. No question. Depression is a real sickness; not good. We need more information about and understanding of autism; absolutely. We all know people who have been affected by these things and we all agree that finding cures for them would be wonderful. So go ahead, post about opportunities to raise funds for medical research, share links to your favorite organizations that are involved in finding solutions and providing assistance, but please, please, please don’t demand that I copy your status and imply that I’m an awful person if I don’t. This is like those bad chain letters (and now emails) that threaten you’ll have bad luck for a zillion years or die a painful and instantaneous death if you don’t pass them on.

Another variation is the statuses that ask you to repost if you are a “true friend”:

If you are a true friend and would be there for me no matter what, then copy and paste this. (I bet not one of my Facebook friends will repost this, but I’m counting on a true friend to do it!)

Hey, guess what, if I’m a true friend who would always be there for you, no matter what, I’m going to pick up the phone and call you, or meet you for lunch, or make sure I’m actually THERE for you. I don’t think reposting a meaningless status on Facebook gets you “true friend” points.

Other statuses demand you repost if you have a sister, mother, brother, father, daughter, cousin, step-aunt-twice-removed, dog, goldfish, or pet rock that you love:

I’ll always need my son no matter what age I am. My son has made me laugh, made me cry, made me proud. He’s hugged me tight, cheered me up, kept me going strong, and driven me crazy at times. But my son is a promise from God that I will have a friend forever. Put this on your status if you have a wonderful son that you love with all your heart.

Here’s the deal: I have a son. He is the joy of my life; truly and completely. For me, the sun rises and sets because of Chester. My life is centered on him in a way I was unable to comprehend before he existed and I’m certain my love for him will continue to expand and deepen in ways I can’t begin to imagine now as he grows into a man. My feelings for my son are so powerful, so heart-rending that I can’t begin to express them. A generic Facebook status sure as heck isn’t going to cut it. I shower him with love and affection in all sorts of ways to make sure he knows how loved he is. There isn’t anything wrong with the sweet sayings, they just aren’t my style. We all love our kids; if a quote or saying resonates with you, by all means, repost it, but don’t imply that if I don’t, I must not love my son.

The “put-this-on-your-status-if” sentence is unnecessary and irritating. If you like something and believe in it and feel compelled to post it, knock yourself out. If people agree with you and want to repost it, they will. You don’t need to be all bossy and judgmental about it.

Those are just a handful of my Facebook pet peeves; the little things that annoy me on a day-to-day basis. Not a big deal. Category One; I just roll my eyes and move along. But sometimes my irritation level rises above mild annoyance and into Category Two – substantial aggravation.

I live and work in a very liberal, urban setting where I am surrounded by people who are a lot like me. My Facebook world, on the other hand, includes many people who are quite a bit different from me. The most typical cause of substantial aggravation on Facebook is a post that represents a political ideology or religious philosophy I do not share. Depending on the topic and delivery, these instances either stay in the realm of mild annoyance or move into substantial aggravation, which means I not only disagree, but feel strongly enough to make a comment and engage in discussion about the issue. The lovely thing about getting this irritated is that it can, when handled productively by both parties, transform a negative reaction into a positive outcome.

In fact, one of my favorite things about Facebook is that, in a highly polarized world where we all gravitate more and more to people, activities and news sources that are like us and support our current views, I have connections with people who think and feel differently than me. When I take the time to engage with someone on an issue, I usually learn a lot. I begin to understand where people with differing thoughts, opinions, and beliefs are coming from, and I realize that we are, in general, more the same than we are different. I love having an intense debate via Facebook and then sharing cute kid pictures or laughing over the trials of parenting.

Of course Category Two irritation doesn’t always turn out so well. It can definitely go wrong when the source of my irritation isn’t willing or able to engage in an intellectual and respectful discussion. I’ve had Facebook “friends” turn disagreements into personal attacks. (Not cool.) And I’ve been “unfriended” by people who apparently do not appreciate, in the same way I do, interacting with someone who disagrees with them. (Sad.)

So, that concludes my rant about things I find irritating on Facebook. Come to think of it, Facebook isn’t so different from the rest of the world. It can be wonderful and it can be irritating. You take the bad with the good and it ends up being worth it. Repost if you agree, honey bunny. If you don’t, you’re a terrible friend. Just sayin’.