8th Grade Graduation – Then and Now

It’s graduation time. Despite the very strange circumstances imposed by a global pandemic, I am enjoying my own family’s celebrations, as well as seeing photos of other graduates – from newly minted kindergarteners (the cutest!), to 8^th grade, high school, and college grads.

Even without having to graduate in quarantine, these important rites of passage are emotional affairs – leaving behind beloved places, people, and phases of life to embark on new adventures and bright futures. It’s all very bittersweet.

While I’ve been feeling sad for the young people who are missing out on typical, in-person traditions associated with graduations, I’ve been moved and impressed with efforts to celebrate our graduates despite the limitations of current reality. Parent volunteers, dedicated administrators, unendingly fantastic teachers, and even students themselves have gone above and beyond to celebrate graduation accomplishments this year – from yard signs and gift bag deliveries, to graduation parades and virtual commencement programs. It hasn’t been the same, but it has been special, and it will certainly be remembered.

All the graduation fanfare got me thinking about my own graduations and how they measured up to this year’s batch of commencements. Since my son Chester graduated from 8^th grade this year, I dug into my memory banks (and old photos) to conduct a comparison of our 8^th grade graduations, including all the important elements: Ceremony, attire, and, of course, hair.

8^th Grade Graduation of Chester Billerbeck: Present day (2020), Westside School, Seattle, Washington

Because of the corona virus pandemic, Chester’s graduation looked a lot different than it would have under normal circumstances. His class should have gone on a camping trip the week before graduation – a tradition all Westside kids hear about and look forward to throughout their years at the school.

Instead of gathering around a campfire and sharing insights and memories about each other, the students wrote little notes that were delivered on graduation day. Another important camping trip tradition involves students hiking into the woods and spending solitary time reading letters secretly written in advance by their parents. In lieu of this experience, Chester asked me for the letter on graduation day, after his class met via Zoom. He proceeded to the backyard, where he valiantly attempted to recreate the forest vibe by setting up a camp chair facing a Japanese maple and some nearly-blooming peonies. I think he appreciated the letter (as much as any 8^th grade boy could), but reported that the attempt to conjure a wilderness setting was, sadly, unsuccessful.

A couple of hours after Chester’s backyard “hike” experience, a wonderful graduation procession came by our house, including the Westside bus and several carloads of teachers, administrators, and even the Westside Wolf mascot. They came bearing colorful signs, flowers, Chester’s 8^th grade diploma, and a bag of cards and goodies. There was so much honking and happy chattering that our neighbor even came out with her own “Congratulations Graduate!” sign (She is, and has always been, presciently prepared for any festive occasion. It is inexplicable and lovely.)

Finally, instead of a ceremony in the school’s auditorium, we all tuned in for a pre-recorded commencement ceremony on YouTube, followed by a Zoom reception. I had my doubts about an online graduation, but the Westside staff pulled off a ceremony that was thoughtful, meaningful, and moving. It truly honored each graduate as an individual and celebrated their uniquely wonderful class.

 

This photo was taken before the online ceremony. As you can see, we took the opportunity to don a slight more dressed-up look than our typical quarantine-wear. Chester put on a dress-shirt and some jeans that he clearly outgrew since the last time he put them on, pre-pandemic. When his future friends make fun of his hair, he’ll have the excuse that he had been in quarantine for three months and was left with a partly grown-out haircut that his mom felt convinced she could handle after a YouTube tutorial. I had no such excuse for my 8^th grade graduation hair, unless you count the fact that it was the 80’s.

  

8^th Grade Graduation of Ronda Billerbeck (née Simons): 1986, Azalea Middle School, Brookings, Oregon

 I honestly don’t recall if my class had a graduation ceremony for 8^th grade, but we must have. The part of our festivities that really stands out in my memory is the graduation dance. It was our first “semi-formal” dance before the barrage of high school homecomings and proms, so I remember it feeling very special and grown up.

A vague memory of a graduation ceremony is lurking in the recesses of my brain. I think it took place in the gym, prior to the dance. I remember being bussed to and from a pre-dance “banquet” which was basically a spaghetti-feed. (Who feeds spaghetti to a group of 13 and 14-year-olds dressed up in semi-formal clothing?!)

The dance took place in our school’s “wresting room,” which was a smaller gym connected to the main gym. It was filled with wrestling mats and an assortment of athletic equipment used daily by junior high boys. It didn’t set the tone for a fancy event for many reasons, not the least of which was the smell.

Here I am, at the dance, with my date, Adam. Let’s take a moment to admire my totally bitchin’ 80s dress…

 

I. Loved. This. Dress.

 

I loved this dress, and it involved quite a lot of drama. I saw it in some magazine (Seventeen probably) and fell completely in love with it. Nothing else would do. I HAD to have this Jessica McClintock number. Any girl who grew up in the 80s will remember that Jessica McClintock dresses were THE dresses to have. (Jessica McClintock prom dresses were in the 80s what Vera Wang wedding gowns were in the 90s.)

So, I had identified the desired dress; all I had to do was go out and purchase it, right? Wrong! A dress this fabulous certainly wasn’t available anywhere in or near the rural Oregon community where I grew up (this is pre-Al Gore’s internet, remember?), so I begged my mom to enlist the help of my aunt who, at the time, lived in Seattle.  She scoured the city and found the dress! In my size! I was thrilled! Little did I know, trouble was brewing. Trouble of the most serious sort. 

A classmate returned from a family spring break vacation to California with a “totally cute” graduation dress.  It was Jessica McClintock and it had a ruffle around the top; it was tea-length, with a slight princess waist-line, and bows on the shoulders. This dress was sounding awfully familiar and my worst fears were confirmed. This bitch had the EXACT same dress (Oh the horror!) in light pink. Mine was clearly more sophisticated in seafoam, but still.

Tears were shed.  Threats were made. Names were called. Mothers conferred via telephone. At long last, the copycat bitch and I were convinced (sort of, but not really) that the color difference made the whole situation acceptable. I compensated with a handmade choker, crafted of ribbon a few shades darker than the dress, adorned with a real rose with petal-tips dyed the same color. Breathtaking. Please ignore my hideous hair. I look like a cross between a poodle and Sammy Hagar.

After all that drama over my dress, you can image how careful I was to avoid splattering red sauce all over it at the spaghetti feed. I emerged unscathed from the banquet but someone spilled fruit punch all over the front of my dress about five minutes after this photo was taken at the dance. 

So, in review, after worrying about Chester not having a meaningful 8^th grade graduation, I think he ended up with a ceremony that was much more memorable than mine. He didn’t have to endure a socially awkward formal dance in a stinky gym, and he certainly came away with much less cringe-worthy photographic evidence. (We both have mouths full of braces, so that’s a wash.)

Congratulations 2020 graduates!